I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize