hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
