I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
