you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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