think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
