Say something about gay babies.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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