They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
