she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
