mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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