C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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