when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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