Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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