My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
COCAINE IS GR8
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