you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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