Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize