it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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