worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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