Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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