so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Randomize
