My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
