Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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