respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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