Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
