There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
