Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
