Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
