I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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