He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm having to shit out rocks
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
