After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
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