Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
