What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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