I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
