As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
