lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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