I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
