Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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