how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
