I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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