its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
