HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
