last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just had sex on a roof
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
A+ Viking dick
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
