I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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