none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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