I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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