I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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