mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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