I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
