Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I still have a little drunk in my system
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
