White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
