dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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