It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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