She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize