oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
