My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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