Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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