And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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