I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
