He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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