everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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