Ketchup is God's man juice
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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