he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
