Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he puts the penis in happiness.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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