We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
