im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
