More tranny stories later!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
