remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
